A guy with a rifle in my hotel room

When I was at university, I got interested in public speaking. I had never really done much public speaking then, apart from school project presentations. So when there was a competition organized by the public speaking society, it felt like the right kind of challenge, especially as the society had masterclasses and tutoring, which I really enjoyed.

When thinking about what to make my speech about, I decided to share my recent, quite unusual experience when I stayed in a hotel room. It went like this:

I will tell you the real story of an unusual dream I had a few months ago. To set the context, I was travelling to a conference abroad. As it was happening over several days, I was staying in a hotel. I got my own hotel room with the comfiest bed you can imagine. And since it was quite late when I arrived, I put a do not disturb sign on the door and headed to sleep.

When I was asleep, I had a really weird vivid dream. I was dreaming that someone entered my hotel room and pointed a gun at me. I forgot what happened right after that, but I woke up, still breathing heavily. I look around, and there's a guy -- with an actual rifle -- standing in my very real hotel room. As my brain is still processing whether I'm stuck in dream inception, he mumbles something and leaves.

I notice there's a paper on the countertop with a message. I pick it up and it reads, "Dear valued guest, as you may or may not know, a well-known hacking convention will be held during your stay. In an effort to increase the safety of our guests, we will be conducting brief non-intrusive room inspections daily. Rooms with the do not disturb sign will be included as part of the inspection process. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation."

I'm sorry -- what!? Non-intrusive room inspections?! Nothing says 'non-intrusive' like a stranger with a gun watching you sleep. This was like someone ordered a wake-up call in a horror movie. Except this was no movie.

Needless to say, I did not get much rest that night. From now on, I always read the hotel's policy very carefully. I make sure they offer free WiFi, late check-out, but if they mention anything about "non-intrusive room inspections," I know it's time to book a different hotel.

Now, this may feel like a made-up story. But it was mostly real. There was a bit of artistic license utilized to add more tension. The main difference was that the person with the rifle^[1][2][3] did not actually point it towards me, he just held it, pointing down.

To add a bit more background, I was attending a conference for bug bounty hunters organized by Google in Las Vegas in 2024, happening the same week as DEF CON. When I checked in, I found this piece of paper in my hotel room. I didn't think much more of it than just some security theater^[4].

Paper on the countertop in my hotel room

Turned out, "non-intrusive room inspections" was the biggest euphemism I've ever experienced.

It consisted of two people, one armed with a rifle, doing a walk around the room. I'm not sure what exactly that accomplishes. Security? I don't think so. A feeling of security? I certainly did not feel secure(!)

The "non-intrusive room inspection" happened two days in a row. It's quite possible I was actually dreaming about this when I got woken up the second day. Either way, this time I was woken up by the sound of the door opening. Knowing what is happening now, and as I just wanted to sleep, I politely shouted "I'm sleeping", and they promptly left my room.

It was quite a shocking am-I-still-dreaming-or-not experience in the moment... I guess it makes for a cool story, though? What concerned me the most is the part about DND signs being ignored^[5]. Like, what if I'm in the shower during this "non-intrusive" room inspection?

Regarding the speech for the competition, I focused on speaking loudly, moving across the stage, and making intense pauses (silence adds tension!). I also used the actual piece of paper as a prop to read the "non-intrusive room inspections" quote. And it was very well received - I got second place!

"[...] stay with us for relaxation,"

Uhm...

"fun,"^[6]

In retrospect, maybe a bit?

"and excitement!"

Well, in a way. I guess.